does jealousy repel or bind?

These last two years I have developed a major Achilles Heal when it comes to dating. Before you ask, it isn’t skateboarding or Millencolin- those things are awesome and I’d take them over girls any day. After a drawn-out and ultimately embittered college relationship I made a conscious decision not to tolerate distrust or jealousy. And that meant within myself as well. As a result, I’ve found myself turning my back on women a lot, walking away from early signs of trouble before they get too close to my heart.

And then sometimes the opposite happens.

That lead me to think about things from a causal perspective. This conscious effort not to show jealousy is leaving me solo more often than not. I make bad jokes sometimes, and couldn’t dance to save my own life, but other than that I’m a pretty awesome dude (I think).

What do you guys think? Is jealousy a good thing? Does it ultimately hold a relationship together by making both parties feel more desired?

Let me preface by saying I’m in the Army now, so this isn’t my attempt to pander for a solution to the female enigma. I’m content to avoid it for awhile, at least until I finish my training.

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3 Responses to “does jealousy repel or bind?”


  1. 1 Ann M February 1, 2011 at 6:49 am

    Don’t be too hard on yourself.. :)
    When the perfectionism bug starts to kick in, it’s easy to think we can control every situation.
    Frankly, relationships are pretty much like dancing. A little jealousy is good. N useful. Both ways Though.. ,both ways :)

  2. 2 Nicholas Collard February 1, 2011 at 7:17 am

    Thanks Ann. That’s solid advice, but if relationships are like dancing I’m staying single. Me trying to dance never leads to a good outcome!

  3. 3 Ann M February 1, 2011 at 12:06 pm

    Last I checked, abstract wasn’t getting good publicity. Dance IS abstract.
    You don’t even get to decide that.. unfortunately. Or, fortunately :)

    Paint! Write! Walk! Dance! ..You’re making a difference.. You’re being real.. You’re alive. That’s what matters.

    You’re not in the habit of regretting situations where you know you did your best. Reminder.

    You’re doing alright Nick, believe me. And you’ll be just fine:)


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